New Company Policy
As a result of the recent downturn in the economy, we are forced to begin a personnel reduction program. Under the new plan, older employees will be asked to take an early retirement, thus permitting the retention of older people who represent our future. Therefor, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Later-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees may also request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW(Survey Of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called SHAFT(Study Higher Authority Following Termination).Under the terms of the view policy may be SLAPPED once SCREWED twice and may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedure he/she will be entitled to get HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance) or CLAP(Combined Lump-Sum Assistance Payment) unless he/she always has AIDS(Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
Management wishes to assure the younger employee’s who remain on board that the company will continue it’s program of employee development through our Special High Intensity Training(SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have give our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.
Once again, thanks for all your ears of service with us.
Found this funny note on a friends Facebook , So decided to share it with you since I couldn’t direct link it
Bruno
Oh Where Oh Where has Bruno Been?
Well its the second day of a new year and thing are lookong ok here from my point of view. It have been over 2 weeks of me bnot doing a post because I got lazy and stuff.
I actually tried to go out and have a life and even tried having a girlfriend these past couple of months. Things worked out great for a little while but in the end it just turned out not so good. It wasn’t a bad experience at all in my opinion. I learned more about myself in that short time frame. I am actually more self aware of myself now than I was before, which makes me feel a lot better about myself.
I am now back and starting to focus on building my subscribers and rss readers. I even started looking into affiliate marketing more thats the other reason I haven’t been writing too much either.
I wish everyone a happy new year and great success in 2009.
Commercials, Sickness, and Blogging
It has been a long 10 days for me here. I recently ended up in bed not being abale to do too much let alone blogging. I know that we can not always stay 100% healthy all the time due to the fact that there are things beyond our control.
I did get to watch a lot of T.V while I was laid up. I tell you one thing I am quiet amazed watching certain commercials like a company called Grey Power and how many times they say that in the commercial. It was like keyword over load which they didn’t really need since they had a logo in the lower left hand corner throughout the whole commercial. I guess it gets the point across since they are trying to sell insurance to people over 50 years old.
Commercials are quite amazing at times, but also quite annoying too. I know they serve there purpose because they play hundreds of thousands of dollars to advertise on certain channels and times of the day. Anyways, I am well and back to my usual blogging efforts.
Bruno
Suspended by Twitter
The last couple of weeks I haven’t been able to use twitter because of being reported for spam violations. I find this highly amusing since all I was using twitter for was to post updates on my blog and communicating with other users.
I got the usual auotmated response from Twitter:
Hello ,
Thanks for your email. One or more of these things may cause your account to be flagged for review:
1. You’ve followed a large number of people in a short amount of time
2. there is a small number of followers compared to number of people you’re following
3. The updates consist mainly of links and not personal updates
4. 15 people blocking the profile and writing in with spam complaints
5. Creating serial accounts and re-tweeting updates
When this happens, we suspend the account temporarily and hide the contents from the public timeline in order to remove the cause of user complaint. We like to keep the Twitter community more based on personal updates rather than links, and ask that you manage your content according to this. I can turn your profile on for your current followers, but we’ll monitor the profile and if complaints continue we’ll have to turn it off again. Thanks for your understanding in this matter,
Cheers,
Twitter Support
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Sunday Link Love
It’s a really cloudy and rainy morning here in Northwestern Ontario. Hunting season started for moose and deer on friday but its been a wet wekend. I’m sure the hunters are pretty grumpy about being wet all weekend.
Anyways, since I have never posted any link love and watch a lot of other bloggers do it I figure why not me. So her’s my list of links I enjoyed the most.
1. Danny Cooper – Is Your Design Link-Worthy? from linkersblog.com
2. Normal Joe – Transform Your Thinking: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Success imwithjoe.com
3. Reed Floren – Affiliate Marketing Tips from reedfloren.com
4. Enkay – Writing A Post Is Hard Work, Right? from enkayblog.com
5. Suite J – Website Flipping: Outsourcing 101 from suitej.com
Well thats it for my Sunday link love. I’m not sure if link love will be a regular thing on a Sunday but it will be done on a weekly basis that for sure. Hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and the rest just have a relaxing Sunday.
Tags: link love
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